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Best Divorce
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Testimonial – Client, Tess B.

“From the moment that I filed for divorce and child custody, I had 100% confidence in Brian. Each step of the way he kept me informed and prepared. I found his knowledge and background with divorce and child custody to be more than comforting. He was prompt in all responses or concerns that I had as well. I will most definitely refer a friend to him for his services and I would hire him again in a heartbeat should that ever be necessary. Thanks Brian!" Read more

RSS Divorce and Child Custody Discussion with Attorney Brian A. Victor

  • Improving Ineffective Co-parenting Skills July 17, 2017
    San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of improving ineffective coparenting skills in this podcast episode. Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego. To learn […]
  • Co-parenting With An Unwilling Co-parent April 9, 2017
    San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of co-parenting with an unwilling co-parent in this podcast episode. Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego. To […]
  • Child Custody Parenting Plan Part 2 March 20, 2017
    San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of how work schedules affect a child custody parenting plan in part two of this podcast episode. Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at […]
  • Child Custody Parenting Plan Part 1 February 28, 2017
    San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of developing a child custody parenting plan in part one of this podcast episode. Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services […]
  • Family Court and Mistakes February 8, 2017
    San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of how to deal with mistakes made by clients in Family Court. Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San […]

Improving ineffective co-parenting skills Itunes

San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of how to improve ineffective co-parenting skills in this podcast episode on iTunes.

Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses what is necessary for improving ineffective co-parenting skills. Also, discussed is the use of co-parenting classes whether court-ordered or not and how they can benefit you when improving ineffective co-parenting skills.

Co-parenting can be difficult with a parent who does not understand the importance of working together with their child’s other parent.  There are special skills needed to focus on the best interest of your child instead of focusing on the issues that you have with your child’s other parent.  Emotional, psychological, physical, and school related issues can arise within your child when you cannot work with and attempt positive co-parenting with your child’s other parent. Understanding when there is an issue with co-parenting in your relationship is vital to attempting to find a way to resolve this issue and can lead to benefits for you, your partner, and your child when learning about improving ineffective co-parenting skills.

There are both in-person and online co-parenting classes that can help teach new and important skills in solving co-parenting issues.

Brian A. Victor Podcast on iTunes

Attorney Brian A. Victor brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego.

best divorce preparation

I often get asked when meeting with a client for the first time what is the best divorce preparation information I can provide them. In my work as a San Diego divorce lawyer, I have found that understandably people do not have much clarity about their situation when they come to see me. In fact, they usually come with a notebook full of questions to help them clarify their situation.

By the time clients come to see me, they have made the conscious decision to get divorced. Generally, this decision has been made for quite a while, but it took something to give them the extra push to meet with a divorce attorney. When a client initially comes to see me they are usually well aware of my background and the fact that not only that I worked for Family Court for nearly 12 years, but I am a licensed marriage family therapist as well. They know that I understand how complex and stressful the divorce process can be.

What I have found however, when talking to a client for the first time, is that they usually have a complex history with their soon to be ex-spouse and have a hard time providing me the necessary information to get started on their divorce matter. What I mean by that is although they understand what has gone on in their marriage and can provide a history to me regarding the facts, they are unable to do so in a concise and accurate way, which is usually required for court.

As a San Diego divorce lawyer, it is my job to gather the client’s important history and provide it to the court in and easy to follow chronological history so that the judge can understand the important facts, rather than all of the facts.

Some of the best divorce preparation information I can provide to my clients is to teach them how to write down important facts versus needless facts. Their job is to tell me what happened in the situation and what they want the court to do about it. My job then is to take this information and draft it in a coherent way so the judge can understand exactly what it is my client wants.

I find it to be important to discuss with my clients what I determine to be the best divorce preparation insight they can use moving forward with their case so that I can better represent them in court. This tends to make my job easier, which in return makes it less expensive for them since by providing a coherent and concise history to me it takes me less time to draft essential paperwork that is necessary in their divorce matter.

Please remember that the information provided in this blog is not to be considered legal advice, but rather general insight.

Should you have questions regarding your own legal matter, you should consult with a local attorney to discuss your specific situation with them. In San Diego contact

Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on your specific family law situation www.divorcelawsd.com

improving ineffective co-parenting skills

For this blog post I am going to continue to discuss the topic of co-parenting and what one can do to improve ineffective co-parenting skills.

In my last blog I discussed inappropriate co-parenting and the pitfalls associated with it especially as it relates to children of divorce and custody. For this blog post I am going to take this question one step further and talk about how to resolve the issue of ineffective co-parenting so that it does not negatively affect your children, but rather how positive co-parenting may help your children.

All too often, people grow accustomed to and even accept inappropriate styles of communication. What I mean by that is people learn how to communicate with others by what they have seen modeled before them whether it be in their relationship with their parents or in their relationship with a significant other. If the styles of communication they learn is ineffective it can affect their ability to communicate and in turn co-parent as they get older.

While you are probably not able to change the behavior of your parents on your own, you can understand when a change needs to be made in your own co-parenting behavior. Recognizing there is a problem in your own skills of co-parenting is the first step for making positive change. Hopefully, this change can come prior to negatively affecting a marriage or dating relationship.

Too often, however, ineffective co-parenting skills negatively affect one’s marriage or dating relationship to the point that it is too late to save. Unfortunately, this can also negatively affect one’s children in the process.

As I just stated, recognizing you have a problem with your co-parenting skills is the first step for resolving the issue. The next step is to find a professional who can help you improve your co-parenting ability. There are many co-parenting classes available to help those who are involved in a divorce or custody dispute. Many of these classes are court ordered and your particular court should be able to refer you to an appropriate co-parenting class.

Some of these classes are given online while others are taught in person. Understanding what your court allows as well as what style of learning works best for you is something to consider before enrolling in a co-parenting program.

If you have not been court ordered to take a co-parenting class you can still enroll in one and should especially if you see there is a problem or have been told there is a problem in your co-parenting ability. Solving a problem before it affects others is a great thing to do and can save lots of money, time, and emotion.

Finally, once you have completed a co-parenting program it is of the utmost importance to begin displaying the behaviors you were taught in order to minimize co-parenting issues and maximize your ability to positively affect your children.

As always please remember the information provided in this blog is to inform rather than to provide legal advice and should not be taken as legal advice.

To inquire further about your family law matter look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on your specific family law situation www.divorcelawsd.com

Attorney Brian Victor Podcast Episode 16: Co-parenting With An Unwilling Co-parent on YouTube

San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses how co-parenting can work with an unwilling co-parenting parent in this podcast episode featured on YouTube. Other considerations are discussed regarding their effect on the child custody parenting plan. It is extremely important to understand how to co-parent effectively and how poor co-parenting skills negatively affect children. Co-parenting classes should be taken to help improve ineffective co-parenting skills. 

Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego.

This is the 16th podcast episode by Attorney Brian A. Victor. In this particular podcast episode there is a discussion of how co-parenting can work with an unwilling co-parenting parent when creating a child custody parenting plan. Attorney Victor discusses child custody, divorce, co-parenting and other pertinent topics related to family law in his podcast episodes. Most people have questions about family law; divorce and the child custody parenting plan in particular. Attorney Brian A. Victor focuses on his experience when discussing these issues. 

These podcasts are not meant to provide legal advice, but rather general information and should not be relied on for legal advice.

To listen to this podcast go to Attorney Brian A. Victor YouTube Podcast

Co-parenting with an unwilling co-parenting parent iTunes

San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of co-parenting and what is needed for successful co-parenting in this podcast episode on iTunes.

Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses how co-parenting can work with an unwilling co-parenting parent.

Co-parenting can be difficult with a parent who does not understand the importance of working together with their child’s other parent.  There are special skills needed to focus on the best interest of your child instead of focusing on the issues that you have with your child’s other parent.  Emotional, psychological, physical, and school related issues can arise within your child when you cannot work with and attempt positive co-parenting with your child’s other parent. Understanding when there is an issue with co-parenting in your relationship is vital to attempting to find a way to resolve this issue.

There are both in-person and online co-parenting classes that can help teach new and important skills in solving co-parenting issues.  Additionally, you can learn how to work with an unwilling co-parent from taking one of these important classes.

Brian A. Victor Podcast on iTunes

Attorney Brian A. Victor brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego.

Co-parenting with an unwilling co-parenting parent

I’ve spoken on the issue of co-parenting a multitude of times in my previous blogs. The big reason for this is the overwhelming importance of co-parenting in a divorce or child custody situation.

In fact, co-parenting is one of the biggest issues that is discussed when I first meet with prospective clients. I hear time and time again how the other parent is unwilling to work with the individual sitting in front of me and how it has harmed their child in various ways.

Therefore, I am going to discuss some of the pitfalls associated with bad co-parenting skills as well as how to best resolve the situation when co-parenting is lacking.

First, co-parenting has been an issue with couples divorcing and or ending a dating relationship when children are involved most likely as long as there has been divorce. One reason for this is due to people’s inability to communicate and work well together being a major factor for couples divorcing.

Communication is a big key for making a relationship be successful. It is unfortunate when people are on able to communicate among themselves to make a relationship last and even more unfortunate when there are children involved.

A major pitfall to effective co-parenting is when there is resentment among the parents. Unfortunately, I saw this occur far too often when I worked for Family Court Services in San Diego recommending parenting plans to family court judges. Much too often, I would have the couple before me complaining about each other rather than focusing on even one positive aspect as to why they decided to have children together.

What parents fail to realize too often is the second pitfall of ineffective co-parenting, which is children are aware of this resentment. This turns a lack of co-parenting into an issue the children have to deal with. This can affect the children’s school performance, emotional health, and if left untreated could begin to affect them physically.

Another pitfall of ineffective co-parenting is when parents make negative comments about each other in front of their children. This teaches children that it is okay to say bad things about other people because they see their parents whom they love exhibiting this behavior. What parents fail to realize is that they are displaying negative behaviors as a result of their lack of co-parenting skills.

Again, bad parenting skills can negatively affect children as they may not learn how to appropriately speak to others, especially those of who they are in a relationship with. Additionally, I can’t tell you how many times when interviewing children I have heard the disgust they feel for the parent who speaks negatively about their other parent. If this doesn’t make you sad, it should because this is something children deal with when their parents display ineffective co-parenting skills in front of them.

I will discuss how to turn negative co-parenting skills into more appropriate co-parenting skills in my next blog.

As always remember the information provided in this blog is to inform rather than to provide legal advice.

To inquire further about your family law matter look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on your specific family law situation. www.brianvictorlaw.com

Child Custody Parenting Plan YouTube Part 2

San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of developing a child custody parenting plan in part two of this podcast episode featured on YouTube. He specifically details how parents’ work schedules can affect the child custody parenting plan and how courts may view a child custody parenting plan in light of the parents’ work schedules. Other considerations are discussed regarding their effect on the child custody parenting plan.

Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego.

This is the 15th podcast episode by Attorney Brian A. Victor. In this particular podcast episode there is a discussion of the issues necessary and important to consider when creating a child custody parenting plan and what to consider about work schedules when developing a child custody parenting plan. Attorney Victor discusses child custody, divorce, co-parenting and other pertinent topics related to family law in his podcast episodes. Most people have questions about family law; divorce and the child custody parenting plan in particular. Attorney Brian A. Victor focuses on his experience when discussing these issues.

To listen to this podcast go to Attorney Brian A. Victor YouTube Podcast

Child Custody Parenting Plan iTunes Part 2

San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of developing a child custody parenting plan in part two of this podcast episode featured on iTunes. He specifically details how parents’ work schedules can affect the child custody parenting plan and how courts may view a child custody parenting plan in light of the parents’ work schedules. Other considerations are discussed regarding their affect on the child custody parenting plan.

Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego.

This is the 15th podcast episode by Attorney Brian A. Victor. In this particular podcast episode there is a discussion of the issues necessary and important to consider when creating a child custody parenting plan and what to consider about work schedules when developing a child custody parenting plan. Attorney Victor discusses child custody, divorce, co-parenting and other pertinent topics related to family law in his podcast episodes. Most people have questions about family law; divorce and the child custody parenting plan in particular. Attorney Brian A. Victor focuses on his experience when discussing these issues.

To listen to this podcast go to Attorney Brian A. Victor iTunes Podcast

Child custody plan Part 2

For this blog I am going to continue discussing what needs to be considered when creating a child custody plan.

As I discussed in my last blog, there are many things to consider when developing a child custody plan. I talked about understanding what works in a child custody plan versus what might need to be modified and I discussed that the court does not always want to modify an entire child custody plan.

For this blog I will continue this conversation and focus on work schedules and how they impact a child custody plan. Again, I speak from my nearly 12 years of experience working at Family Court Services and from my experience as a child custody attorney in San Diego.

It is extremely important to take into consideration both parties’ work schedules as it relates to when they are available to spend time with their child. For example, if one parent works during the day that would not be a logical time to ask for the child to be in their custody. The flipside of course is if that parent works at night and asks for the child to be with them during that time that also may not be an appropriate time to add into the child custody plan.

There are many ways to work around one’s work schedule to allow for a child to be in that parent’s care. The important thing to remember, however, is that when a child is with that parent it is the parent’s main responsibility to care for the child rather than work during that time. This is especially true when parents have younger children who need more supervision.

The final area I want to talk about regarding the child custody plan is being aware when a parent may be a danger to the child necessitating the need for supervised visits. This is a topic that would take his own blog to discuss, however when there is a need for supervision creating a child custody plan becomes more difficult because you need to consider the availability of the court appointed supervisor. Suffice to say, this is one more aspect that makes the creation of a child custody plan more difficult.

There is too much information regarding developing a child custody plan than can be described in two blog postings, and I will discuss more aspects of it in future blogs. The important thing to remember is that the creation of a child custody plan can be difficult, but with the right insights does not need to be impossible.

To inquire further about your family law matter look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on your specific family law situation. www.brianvictorlaw.com

Child Custody Parenting Plan iTunes

San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of developing a child custody parenting plan in part one of this podcast episode featured on iTunes.

Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego.

This is the 14th podcast episode by Attorney Brian A. Victor. In this particular podcast episode there is a discussion of the issues necessary and important to consider when creating a child custody parenting plan Attorney Victor discusses child custody, divorce, co-parenting and other pertinent topics related to family law in his podcast episodes. Most people have questions about family law; divorce and the child custody parenting plan in particular. Attorney Brian A. Victor focuses on his experience when discussing these issues.

To listen to this podcast go to Attorney Brian A. Victor iTunes Podcast