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Testimonial – Client, Tess B.

“From the moment that I filed for divorce and child custody, I had 100% confidence in Brian. Each step of the way he kept me informed and prepared. I found his knowledge and background with divorce and child custody to be more than comforting. He was prompt in all responses or concerns that I had as well. I will most definitely refer a friend to him for his services and I would hire him again in a heartbeat should that ever be necessary. Thanks Brian!" Read more

Co-parenting with an unwilling co-parenting parent

I’ve spoken on the issue of co-parenting a multitude of times in my previous blogs. The big reason for this is the overwhelming importance of co-parenting in a divorce or child custody situation.

In fact, co-parenting is one of the biggest issues that is discussed when I first meet with prospective clients. I hear time and time again how the other parent is unwilling to work with the individual sitting in front of me and how it has harmed their child in various ways.

Therefore, I am going to discuss some of the pitfalls associated with bad co-parenting skills as well as how to best resolve the situation when co-parenting is lacking.

First, co-parenting has been an issue with couples divorcing and or ending a dating relationship when children are involved most likely as long as there has been divorce. One reason for this is due to people’s inability to communicate and work well together being a major factor for couples divorcing.

Communication is a big key for making a relationship be successful. It is unfortunate when people are on able to communicate among themselves to make a relationship last and even more unfortunate when there are children involved.

A major pitfall to effective co-parenting is when there is resentment among the parents. Unfortunately, I saw this occur far too often when I worked for Family Court Services in San Diego recommending parenting plans to family court judges. Much too often, I would have the couple before me complaining about each other rather than focusing on even one positive aspect as to why they decided to have children together.

What parents fail to realize too often is the second pitfall of ineffective co-parenting, which is children are aware of this resentment. This turns a lack of co-parenting into an issue the children have to deal with. This can affect the children’s school performance, emotional health, and if left untreated could begin to affect them physically.

Another pitfall of ineffective co-parenting is when parents make negative comments about each other in front of their children. This teaches children that it is okay to say bad things about other people because they see their parents whom they love exhibiting this behavior. What parents fail to realize is that they are displaying negative behaviors as a result of their lack of co-parenting skills.

Again, bad parenting skills can negatively affect children as they may not learn how to appropriately speak to others, especially those of who they are in a relationship with. Additionally, I can’t tell you how many times when interviewing children I have heard the disgust they feel for the parent who speaks negatively about their other parent. If this doesn’t make you sad, it should because this is something children deal with when their parents display ineffective co-parenting skills in front of them.

I will discuss how to turn negative co-parenting skills into more appropriate co-parenting skills in my next blog.

As always remember the information provided in this blog is to inform rather than to provide legal advice.

To inquire further about your family law matter look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on your specific family law situation. www.brianvictorlaw.com

Child Custody Parenting Plan YouTube Part 2

San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of developing a child custody parenting plan in part two of this podcast episode featured on YouTube. He specifically details how parents’ work schedules can affect the child custody parenting plan and how courts may view a child custody parenting plan in light of the parents’ work schedules. Other considerations are discussed regarding their effect on the child custody parenting plan.

Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego.

This is the 15th podcast episode by Attorney Brian A. Victor. In this particular podcast episode there is a discussion of the issues necessary and important to consider when creating a child custody parenting plan and what to consider about work schedules when developing a child custody parenting plan. Attorney Victor discusses child custody, divorce, co-parenting and other pertinent topics related to family law in his podcast episodes. Most people have questions about family law; divorce and the child custody parenting plan in particular. Attorney Brian A. Victor focuses on his experience when discussing these issues.

To listen to this podcast go to Attorney Brian A. Victor YouTube Podcast

Child custody plan Part 2

For this blog I am going to continue discussing what needs to be considered when creating a child custody plan.

As I discussed in my last blog, there are many things to consider when developing a child custody plan. I talked about understanding what works in a child custody plan versus what might need to be modified and I discussed that the court does not always want to modify an entire child custody plan.

For this blog I will continue this conversation and focus on work schedules and how they impact a child custody plan. Again, I speak from my nearly 12 years of experience working at Family Court Services and from my experience as a child custody attorney in San Diego.

It is extremely important to take into consideration both parties’ work schedules as it relates to when they are available to spend time with their child. For example, if one parent works during the day that would not be a logical time to ask for the child to be in their custody. The flipside of course is if that parent works at night and asks for the child to be with them during that time that also may not be an appropriate time to add into the child custody plan.

There are many ways to work around one’s work schedule to allow for a child to be in that parent’s care. The important thing to remember, however, is that when a child is with that parent it is the parent’s main responsibility to care for the child rather than work during that time. This is especially true when parents have younger children who need more supervision.

The final area I want to talk about regarding the child custody plan is being aware when a parent may be a danger to the child necessitating the need for supervised visits. This is a topic that would take his own blog to discuss, however when there is a need for supervision creating a child custody plan becomes more difficult because you need to consider the availability of the court appointed supervisor. Suffice to say, this is one more aspect that makes the creation of a child custody plan more difficult.

There is too much information regarding developing a child custody plan than can be described in two blog postings, and I will discuss more aspects of it in future blogs. The important thing to remember is that the creation of a child custody plan can be difficult, but with the right insights does not need to be impossible.

To inquire further about your family law matter look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on your specific family law situation. www.brianvictorlaw.com

Child Custody Parenting Plan On YouTube

San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of developing a child custody parenting plan in part one of this podcast episode on YouTube. Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody parenting plan issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending a child custody parenting plan to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego.

Child custody parenting plans are difficult to develop and are extremely important to a child custody case in Family Court. It is important to understand what is needed to develop a child custody parenting plan in order to plan for your family law matter.

Create a checklist of questions or issues you have been having in your matter and then listen to this YouTube episode to see how important and necessary a good child custody parenting plan is.

To learn more go to www.brianvictorlaw.com

Child custody plan part 1

Child custody and creating a child custody plan is not as easy as it may seem. I speak from my nearly 12 years of experience working at Family Court Services and from my experience as a child custody attorney in San Diego.

I have had many consultations with prospective clients who do not understand the intricacies and complexities involved in developing a child custody plan. There are many factors that need to be considered when developing a child custody plan. For instance, is there a current child custody plan in place or a court ordered child custody plan in place.

Discussing the current custody plan is important in order to understand what the parties have been used and how the child is doing under the current child custody plan. Additionally, it is important to figure out what is working and what may need to be modified so that the entire child custody plan may not need to be changed.

From my experience, courts do not like to change an entire parenting plan if some of it is working especially because it affects what the child is used to. They would much rather change certain aspects that may not be working as well when modifying a child custody plan.

There is too much information regarding developing a child custody plan than can be listed in this blog, and I will discuss more aspects of it in my next blog.

To inquire further about your family law matter look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on your specific family law situation. www.brianvictorlaw.com

Child Custody Order and Job Transfers

This article from the New York Times brings up an interesting dilemma of what to consider when there is a current child custody order in place and one parent receives an offer to transfer jobs. It is a difficult decision to make whether to accept the job transfer or give it up to keep the current child custody order in place.

Lots of families have to deal with this decision of how a child custody order may be impacted by their job.  In San Diego, this occurs very often with military families who have to relocate due to new military orders.  Also, this occurs when service members are deployed and gone for several months to a year at times.  It is a difficult task to be away from one’s children for so long and the child custody order may need to be modified to reflect these situations.

It is important to talk to an attorney who can help you understand your options when your job may necessitate a change in a current child custody order. A change in a child custody order may have long lasting consequences for future orders so it is important to understand your options and how they affect a current child custody order.

Child custody order and job transfers

Podcast 13: Family Court and Mistakes

San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of how to deal with mistakes made by clients in Family Court in his 13th podcast episode. Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego. To learn more go to www.brianvictorlaw.com In this podcast, Attorney Victor talks about ways to work with clients in Family Court and Mistakes they make on occasion and how best to minimize those mistakes.

To watch Family Court and Mistakes on YouTube go to: https://youtu.be/wFmPkgdZU-w

Mistakes are learning experiences in family court

It was the philosopher John Dewey who stated mistakes are learning experiences. What this means is if you make a mistake and you learn from it you will not repeat the mistake and you will grow to be a better person. The opposite is true of course if you make a mistake and don’t learn from it you are most likely going to make the same mistake over again.

My goal with this blog is not to be philosophical, but rather point out that one-time mistakes are good learning experiences in family court. Let’s say for instance, you are having a phone conversation with your ex-spouse and they start making negative comments towards you. I tell my clients not to engage them in this behavior, but rather make note of the situation and focus on the co-parenting aspects. Unfortunately, this advice is not always heeded and regrettable comments are sometimes made.

Unfortunately, these are situations that often get repeated in court declarations. The best advice I give my clients at that point is to learn from the mistake they made by engaging the other parent and refuse to fall into this trap in the future. Therefore, they turn this mistake into a learning experience, which will benefit them in family court and will benefit their children in the future.

Another situation I see often in family law is a parent who has driven while intoxicated and then minimizes this action by saying it was a one-time occurrence and no harm came to their children as a result. While this may have been a one-time occurrence, the other parents will likely latch onto it and use it to their advantage going through the court process and attempt to obtain custody of their children.

While it may not be something my client wants to hear, I tell them to accept responsibility for their actions even if their children were not harmed as a result of this behavior. I believe it is best to admit their mistakes, indicate how they are never going to make that mistake again, obtain treatment if necessary so that when there is a court hearing they will have positives to inform the judge of rather than the negative behavior.

This runs concurrent to a recent court decision in a juvenile dependency matter in Re: M.R. where the court found that a mother who drove intoxicated minimized the seriousness of her behavior and failed to take significant steps that would lead to reduce risk to the children. While not directly related to family law cases, the finding is still significant and is something I inform my clients of.

It is extremely important to learn from a mistake especially while a family law matter is ongoing so that it does not significantly and negatively affect your case or your children. Therefore, mistakes are learning experiences in family court.

To inquire further about your family law matter look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on your specific family law situation. www.brianvictorlaw.com

Attorney Brian A. Victor Named 2017 California Super Lawyers

The Law Offices of Brian A. Victor in San Diego is pleased to announce that Family Law Attorney Brian A. Victor has been selected to the Super Lawyers 2017 California Rising Stars list.  This is the third year in a row that Attorney Victor has received this honor!

This is an exclusive list, recognizing no more than 2.5 percent of the lawyers in the state.

Super Lawyers, a Thomson Reuters business, is a research-driven, peer influenced rating service of outstanding lawyers who have attained a high degree of peer recognition and professional achievement. Attorneys are selected from more than 70 practice areas and all firm sizes, assuring a credible and relevant annual list.

The annual selections are made using a patented multiphase process that

includes:

  • Peer nominations
  • Independent research by Super Lawyers
  • Evaluations from a highly credentialed panel of attorneys

The objective of Super Lawyers is to create a credible, comprehensive and diverse listing of exceptional attorneys to be used as a resource for both attorneys and consumers seeking legal counsel.

The Super Lawyers lists are published nationwide in Super Lawyers Magazines and in leading city and regional magazines and newspapers across the country, as well as in the California Super Lawyers Digital Magazine and Modern Luxury San Diego.

Please join us in congratulating Brian A. Victor on his selection.

Additional information about Brian A. Victor can be found at www.brianvictorlaw.com

For more information about Super Lawyers, go to SuperLawyers.com.

Holiday parenting plan

It’s that time of the year again when families get together to celebrate with one another. Schools are closed and children can play and enjoy some much needed time away from studying. That’s right, the year-end holidays are upon us. This is the time of year when everybody is supposed to be in a happy mood and celebrating the end of another year.

This is a happy time except of course when couples who have divorced or ended a dating relationship do not have a holiday parenting plan or if they have an ineffective holiday parenting plan. When either of these two scenarios occurs it usually results in a situation where one or both parents are unhappy about the time they get to spend with their children during the holidays and winter break.

Often times children are also unhappy about having to follow an ineffective or nonexistent holiday parenting plan. This usually results in unnecessary stress being placed upon a child having to choose between their parents during the holidays.

When parents are unable to resolve issues and agree with which holiday parenting plan their child should follow, it either results in a child not spending any time with the other parent or not spending enough time with the other parent.

As a child custody attorney in San Diego, too often an individual comes to me because they are not able to spend enough time with their children during the holidays. Having recommended more than 4,000 parenting plans to family court judges when I worked for Family Court Services, I am aware of the difference between an effective and ineffective holiday parenting plan.

I often discuss the positives and negatives of my client’s current holiday parenting plan to try and find a deeper understanding of what is working and what is not working in their ability to spend time with their children during the holidays. I then ask them how much time they realistically can spend with their children during the holidays and we work together to develop a beneficial holiday parenting plan we can request from the other parent and or the court.

No child deserves the stress of having to decide between their parents especially during the holiday time and by developing an effective holiday parenting plan; parents can alleviate this undue stress.

To inquire further about an effective holiday parenting plan look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information about a holiday parenting plan.

www.brianvictorlaw.com