best divorce preparation

I often get asked when meeting with a client for the first time what is the best divorce preparation information I can provide them. In my work as a San Diego divorce lawyer, I have found that understandably people do not have much clarity about their situation when they come to see me. In fact, they usually come with a notebook full of questions to help them clarify their situation. By the time clients come to see me, they have made the conscious decision to get divorced. Generally, this decision has been made for quite a while, but it took something to give them the extra push to meet with a divorce attorney. When a client initially comes to see me they are usually well aware of my background and the fact that not only that I worked for Family Court for nearly 12 years, but I am a licensed marriage family therapist as well. They know that I understand how complex and stressful the divorce process can be. What I have found however, when talking to a client for the first time, is that they usually have a complex history with their soon to be ex-spouse and have a hard time providing me the necessary information to get started on their divorce matter. What I mean by that is although they understand what has gone on in their marriage and can provide a history to me regarding the facts, they are unable to do so in a concise and accurate way, which is usually required for court. As a San Diego divorce lawyer, it is my job to...

improving ineffective co-parenting skills

For this blog post I am going to continue to discuss the topic of co-parenting and what one can do to improve ineffective co-parenting skills. In my last blog I discussed inappropriate co-parenting and the pitfalls associated with it especially as it relates to children of divorce and custody. For this blog post I am going to take this question one step further and talk about how to resolve the issue of ineffective co-parenting so that it does not negatively affect your children, but rather how positive co-parenting may help your children. All too often, people grow accustomed to and even accept inappropriate styles of communication. What I mean by that is people learn how to communicate with others by what they have seen modeled before them whether it be in their relationship with their parents or in their relationship with a significant other. If the styles of communication they learn is ineffective it can affect their ability to communicate and in turn co-parent as they get older. While you are probably not able to change the behavior of your parents on your own, you can understand when a change needs to be made in your own co-parenting behavior. Recognizing there is a problem in your own skills of co-parenting is the first step for making positive change. Hopefully, this change can come prior to negatively affecting a marriage or dating relationship. Too often, however, ineffective co-parenting skills negatively affect one’s marriage or dating relationship to the point that it is too late to save. Unfortunately, this can also negatively affect one’s children in the process. As I just...

Attorney Brian Victor Podcast Episode 16: Co-parenting With An Unwilling Co-parent on YouTube

San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses how co-parenting can work with an unwilling co-parenting parent in this podcast episode featured on YouTube. Other considerations are discussed regarding their effect on the child custody parenting plan. It is extremely important to understand how to co-parent effectively and how poor co-parenting skills negatively affect children. Co-parenting classes should be taken to help improve ineffective co-parenting skills.  Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego. This is the 16th podcast episode by Attorney Brian A. Victor. In this particular podcast episode there is a discussion of how co-parenting can work with an unwilling co-parenting parent when creating a child custody parenting plan. Attorney Victor discusses child custody, divorce, co-parenting and other pertinent topics related to family law in his podcast episodes. Most people have questions about family law; divorce and the child custody parenting plan in particular. Attorney Brian A. Victor focuses on his experience when discussing these issues.  These podcasts are not meant to provide legal advice, but rather general information and should not be relied on for legal advice. To listen to this podcast go to Attorney Brian A. Victor YouTube...

Co-parenting with an unwilling co-parenting parent iTunes

San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of co-parenting and what is needed for successful co-parenting in this podcast episode on iTunes. Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses how co-parenting can work with an unwilling co-parenting parent. Co-parenting can be difficult with a parent who does not understand the importance of working together with their child’s other parent.  There are special skills needed to focus on the best interest of your child instead of focusing on the issues that you have with your child’s other parent.  Emotional, psychological, physical, and school related issues can arise within your child when you cannot work with and attempt positive co-parenting with your child’s other parent. Understanding when there is an issue with co-parenting in your relationship is vital to attempting to find a way to resolve this issue. There are both in-person and online co-parenting classes that can help teach new and important skills in solving co-parenting issues.  Additionally, you can learn how to work with an unwilling co-parent from taking one of these important classes. Brian A. Victor Podcast on iTunes Attorney Brian A. Victor brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San...

Co-parenting with an unwilling co-parenting parent

I’ve spoken on the issue of co-parenting a multitude of times in my previous blogs. The big reason for this is the overwhelming importance of co-parenting in a divorce or child custody situation. In fact, co-parenting is one of the biggest issues that is discussed when I first meet with prospective clients. I hear time and time again how the other parent is unwilling to work with the individual sitting in front of me and how it has harmed their child in various ways. Therefore, I am going to discuss some of the pitfalls associated with bad co-parenting skills as well as how to best resolve the situation when co-parenting is lacking. First, co-parenting has been an issue with couples divorcing and or ending a dating relationship when children are involved most likely as long as there has been divorce. One reason for this is due to people’s inability to communicate and work well together being a major factor for couples divorcing. Communication is a big key for making a relationship be successful. It is unfortunate when people are on able to communicate among themselves to make a relationship last and even more unfortunate when there are children involved. A major pitfall to effective co-parenting is when there is resentment among the parents. Unfortunately, I saw this occur far too often when I worked for Family Court Services in San Diego recommending parenting plans to family court judges. Much too often, I would have the couple before me complaining about each other rather than focusing on even one positive aspect as to why they decided to have children together....

Child Custody Parenting Plan YouTube Part 2

San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of developing a child custody parenting plan in part two of this podcast episode featured on YouTube. He specifically details how parents’ work schedules can affect the child custody parenting plan and how courts may view a child custody parenting plan in light of the parents’ work schedules. Other considerations are discussed regarding their effect on the child custody parenting plan. Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego. This is the 15th podcast episode by Attorney Brian A. Victor. In this particular podcast episode there is a discussion of the issues necessary and important to consider when creating a child custody parenting plan and what to consider about work schedules when developing a child custody parenting plan. Attorney Victor discusses child custody, divorce, co-parenting and other pertinent topics related to family law in his podcast episodes. Most people have questions about family law; divorce and the child custody parenting plan in particular. Attorney Brian A. Victor focuses on his experience when discussing these issues. To listen to this podcast go to Attorney Brian A. Victor YouTube...