It was the philosopher John Dewey who stated mistakes are learning experiences. What this means is if you make a mistake and you learn from it you will not repeat the mistake and you will grow to be a better person. The opposite is true of course if you make a mistake and don’t learn from it you are most likely going to make the same mistake over again.
My goal with this blog is not to be philosophical, but rather point out that one-time mistakes are good learning experiences in family court. Let’s say for instance, you are having a phone conversation with your ex-spouse and they start making negative comments towards you. I tell my clients not to engage them in this behavior, but rather make note of the situation and focus on the co-parenting aspects. Unfortunately, this advice is not always heeded and regrettable comments are sometimes made.
Unfortunately, these are situations that often get repeated in court declarations. The best advice I give my clients at that point is to learn from the mistake they made by engaging the other parent and refuse to fall into this trap in the future. Therefore, they turn this mistake into a learning experience, which will benefit them in family court and will benefit their children in the future.
Another situation I see often in family law is a parent who has driven while intoxicated and then minimizes this action by saying it was a one-time occurrence and no harm came to their children as a result. While this may have been a one-time occurrence, the other parents will likely latch onto it and use it to their advantage going through the court process and attempt to obtain custody of their children.
While it may not be something my client wants to hear, I tell them to accept responsibility for their actions even if their children were not harmed as a result of this behavior. I believe it is best to admit their mistakes, indicate how they are never going to make that mistake again, obtain treatment if necessary so that when there is a court hearing they will have positives to inform the judge of rather than the negative behavior.
This runs concurrent to a recent court decision in a juvenile dependency matter in Re: M.R. where the court found that a mother who drove intoxicated minimized the seriousness of her behavior and failed to take significant steps that would lead to reduce risk to the children. While not directly related to family law cases, the finding is still significant and is something I inform my clients of.
It is extremely important to learn from a mistake especially while a family law matter is ongoing so that it does not significantly and negatively affect your case or your children. Therefore, mistakes are learning experiences in family court.
To inquire further about your family law matter look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on your specific family law situation. www.brianvictorlaw.com
