best divorce preparation
improving ineffective co-parenting skills
For this blog post I am going to continue to discuss the topic of co-parenting and what one can do to improve ineffective co-parenting skills.
In my last blog I discussed inappropriate co-parenting and the pitfalls associated with it especially as it relates to children of divorce and custody. For this blog post I am going to take this question one step further and talk about how to resolve the issue of ineffective co-parenting so that it does not negatively affect your children, but rather how positive co-parenting may help your children.
All too often, people grow accustomed to and even accept inappropriate styles of communication. What I mean by that is people learn how to communicate with others by what they have seen modeled before them whether it be in their relationship with their parents or in their relationship with a significant other. If the styles of communication they learn is ineffective it can affect their ability to communicate and in turn co-parent as they get older.
While you are probably not able to change the behavior of your parents on your own, you can understand when a change needs to be made in your own co-parenting behavior. Recognizing there is a problem in your own skills of co-parenting is the first step for making positive change. Hopefully, this change can come prior to negatively affecting a marriage or dating relationship.
Too often, however, ineffective co-parenting skills negatively affect one’s marriage or dating relationship to the point that it is too late to save. Unfortunately, this can also negatively affect one’s children in the process.
As I just stated, recognizing you have a problem with your co-parenting skills is the first step for resolving the issue. The next step is to find a professional who can help you improve your co-parenting ability. There are many co-parenting classes available to help those who are involved in a divorce or custody dispute. Many of these classes are court ordered and your particular court should be able to refer you to an appropriate co-parenting class.
Some of these classes are given online while others are taught in person. Understanding what your court allows as well as what style of learning works best for you is something to consider before enrolling in a co-parenting program.
If you have not been court ordered to take a co-parenting class you can still enroll in one and should especially if you see there is a problem or have been told there is a problem in your co-parenting ability. Solving a problem before it affects others is a great thing to do and can save lots of money, time, and emotion.
Finally, once you have completed a co-parenting program it is of the utmost importance to begin displaying the behaviors you were taught in order to minimize co-parenting issues and maximize your ability to positively affect your children.
As always please remember the information provided in this blog is to inform rather than to provide legal advice and should not be taken as legal advice.
To inquire further about your family law matter look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on your specific family law situation www.divorcelawsd.com
Attorney Brian Victor Podcast Episode 16: Co-parenting With An Unwilling Co-parent on YouTube
San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses how co-parenting can work with an unwilling co-parenting parent in this podcast episode featured on YouTube. Other considerations are discussed regarding their effect on the child custody parenting plan. It is extremely important to understand how to co-parent effectively and how poor co-parenting skills negatively affect children. Co-parenting classes should be taken to help improve ineffective co-parenting skills.
Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego.
This is the 16th podcast episode by Attorney Brian A. Victor. In this particular podcast episode there is a discussion of how co-parenting can work with an unwilling co-parenting parent when creating a child custody parenting plan. Attorney Victor discusses child custody, divorce, co-parenting and other pertinent topics related to family law in his podcast episodes. Most people have questions about family law; divorce and the child custody parenting plan in particular. Attorney Brian A. Victor focuses on his experience when discussing these issues.
These podcasts are not meant to provide legal advice, but rather general information and should not be relied on for legal advice.
To listen to this podcast go to Attorney Brian A. Victor YouTube Podcast
Co-parenting with an unwilling co-parenting parent
I’ve spoken on the issue of co-parenting a multitude of times in my previous blogs. The big reason for this is the overwhelming importance of co-parenting in a divorce or child custody situation.
In fact, co-parenting is one of the biggest issues that is discussed when I first meet with prospective clients. I hear time and time again how the other parent is unwilling to work with the individual sitting in front of me and how it has harmed their child in various ways.
Therefore, I am going to discuss some of the pitfalls associated with bad co-parenting skills as well as how to best resolve the situation when co-parenting is lacking.
First, co-parenting has been an issue with couples divorcing and or ending a dating relationship when children are involved most likely as long as there has been divorce. One reason for this is due to people’s inability to communicate and work well together being a major factor for couples divorcing.
Communication is a big key for making a relationship be successful. It is unfortunate when people are on able to communicate among themselves to make a relationship last and even more unfortunate when there are children involved.
A major pitfall to effective co-parenting is when there is resentment among the parents. Unfortunately, I saw this occur far too often when I worked for Family Court Services in San Diego recommending parenting plans to family court judges. Much too often, I would have the couple before me complaining about each other rather than focusing on even one positive aspect as to why they decided to have children together.
What parents fail to realize too often is the second pitfall of ineffective co-parenting, which is children are aware of this resentment. This turns a lack of co-parenting into an issue the children have to deal with. This can affect the children’s school performance, emotional health, and if left untreated could begin to affect them physically.
Another pitfall of ineffective co-parenting is when parents make negative comments about each other in front of their children. This teaches children that it is okay to say bad things about other people because they see their parents whom they love exhibiting this behavior. What parents fail to realize is that they are displaying negative behaviors as a result of their lack of co-parenting skills.
Again, bad parenting skills can negatively affect children as they may not learn how to appropriately speak to others, especially those of who they are in a relationship with. Additionally, I can’t tell you how many times when interviewing children I have heard the disgust they feel for the parent who speaks negatively about their other parent. If this doesn’t make you sad, it should because this is something children deal with when their parents display ineffective co-parenting skills in front of them.
I will discuss how to turn negative co-parenting skills into more appropriate co-parenting skills in my next blog.
As always remember the information provided in this blog is to inform rather than to provide legal advice.
To inquire further about your family law matter look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on your specific family law situation. www.brianvictorlaw.com
Child Custody Parenting Plan YouTube Part 2
San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of developing a child custody parenting plan in part two of this podcast episode featured on YouTube. He specifically details how parents’ work schedules can affect the child custody parenting plan and how courts may view a child custody parenting plan in light of the parents’ work schedules. Other considerations are discussed regarding their effect on the child custody parenting plan.
Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego.
This is the 15th podcast episode by Attorney Brian A. Victor. In this particular podcast episode there is a discussion of the issues necessary and important to consider when creating a child custody parenting plan and what to consider about work schedules when developing a child custody parenting plan. Attorney Victor discusses child custody, divorce, co-parenting and other pertinent topics related to family law in his podcast episodes. Most people have questions about family law; divorce and the child custody parenting plan in particular. Attorney Brian A. Victor focuses on his experience when discussing these issues.
To listen to this podcast go to Attorney Brian A. Victor YouTube Podcast
Child custody plan Part 2
For this blog I am going to continue discussing what needs to be considered when creating a child custody plan.
As I discussed in my last blog, there are many things to consider when developing a child custody plan. I talked about understanding what works in a child custody plan versus what might need to be modified and I discussed that the court does not always want to modify an entire child custody plan.
For this blog I will continue this conversation and focus on work schedules and how they impact a child custody plan. Again, I speak from my nearly 12 years of experience working at Family Court Services and from my experience as a child custody attorney in San Diego.
It is extremely important to take into consideration both parties’ work schedules as it relates to when they are available to spend time with their child. For example, if one parent works during the day that would not be a logical time to ask for the child to be in their custody. The flipside of course is if that parent works at night and asks for the child to be with them during that time that also may not be an appropriate time to add into the child custody plan.
There are many ways to work around one’s work schedule to allow for a child to be in that parent’s care. The important thing to remember, however, is that when a child is with that parent it is the parent’s main responsibility to care for the child rather than work during that time. This is especially true when parents have younger children who need more supervision.
The final area I want to talk about regarding the child custody plan is being aware when a parent may be a danger to the child necessitating the need for supervised visits. This is a topic that would take his own blog to discuss, however when there is a need for supervision creating a child custody plan becomes more difficult because you need to consider the availability of the court appointed supervisor. Suffice to say, this is one more aspect that makes the creation of a child custody plan more difficult.
There is too much information regarding developing a child custody plan than can be described in two blog postings, and I will discuss more aspects of it in future blogs. The important thing to remember is that the creation of a child custody plan can be difficult, but with the right insights does not need to be impossible.
To inquire further about your family law matter look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on your specific family law situation. www.brianvictorlaw.com
Child Custody Parenting Plan On YouTube
San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of developing a child custody parenting plan in part one of this podcast episode on YouTube. Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody parenting plan issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending a child custody parenting plan to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego.
Child custody parenting plans are difficult to develop and are extremely important to a child custody case in Family Court. It is important to understand what is needed to develop a child custody parenting plan in order to plan for your family law matter.
Create a checklist of questions or issues you have been having in your matter and then listen to this YouTube episode to see how important and necessary a good child custody parenting plan is.
To learn more go to www.brianvictorlaw.com
Child custody plan part 1
Child custody and creating a child custody plan is not as easy as it may seem. I speak from my nearly 12 years of experience working at Family Court Services and from my experience as a child custody attorney in San Diego.
I have had many consultations with prospective clients who do not understand the intricacies and complexities involved in developing a child custody plan. There are many factors that need to be considered when developing a child custody plan. For instance, is there a current child custody plan in place or a court ordered child custody plan in place.
Discussing the current custody plan is important in order to understand what the parties have been used and how the child is doing under the current child custody plan. Additionally, it is important to figure out what is working and what may need to be modified so that the entire child custody plan may not need to be changed.
From my experience, courts do not like to change an entire parenting plan if some of it is working especially because it affects what the child is used to. They would much rather change certain aspects that may not be working as well when modifying a child custody plan.
There is too much information regarding developing a child custody plan than can be listed in this blog, and I will discuss more aspects of it in my next blog.
To inquire further about your family law matter look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on your specific family law situation. www.brianvictorlaw.com
Child Custody Order and Job Transfers
This article from the New York Times brings up an interesting dilemma of what to consider when there is a current child custody order in place and one parent receives an offer to transfer jobs. It is a difficult decision to make whether to accept the job transfer or give it up to keep the current child custody order in place.
Lots of families have to deal with this decision of how a child custody order may be impacted by their job. In San Diego, this occurs very often with military families who have to relocate due to new military orders. Also, this occurs when service members are deployed and gone for several months to a year at times. It is a difficult task to be away from one's children for so long and the child custody order may need to be modified to reflect these situations.
It is important to talk to an attorney who can help you understand your options when your job may necessitate a change in a current child custody order. A change in a child custody order may have long lasting consequences for future orders so it is important to understand your options and how they affect a current child custody order.
Podcast 13: Family Court and Mistakes
San Diego divorce and child custody lawyer Brian A. Victor discusses the topic of how to deal with mistakes made by clients in Family Court in his 13th podcast episode. Attorney Brian A. Victor discusses divorce and child custody issues. He brings more than 11 years experience recommending parenting plans to judges while working at Family Court Services in San Diego. To learn more go to www.brianvictorlaw.com In this podcast, Attorney Victor talks about ways to work with clients in Family Court and Mistakes they make on occasion and how best to minimize those mistakes.
To watch Family Court and Mistakes on YouTube go to: https://youtu.be/wFmPkgdZU-w