Halloween and co-parenting
Community property and divorce
California is a community property state. As a family law divorce attorney in San Diego one of the big questions I get asked is what does community property mean and how does it relate to my family law case?
Although this can be a complicated question, I try to keep the answer as simple as possible for my clients. Generally, any income earned during marriage is classified as community property. While there are various examples, this generally means as long as you are in a marital relationship any income you earn from a paycheck, a rental you own with your spouse, or dividends and payouts from a 401(k) plan or other stock and mutual funds will most likely be classified as community property.
Given the complexities, it is extremely important to determine how community property and divorce go together. For example, if you work, but your spouse does not, your income is still seen as community property to which 50% of it belongs to your spouse. This can have a great impact on determining whether you are able to afford to get divorced as well as if you get divorced how does this affect dividing your property.
This blog just covers how earnings can relate to community property and divorce. A future blog will discuss community property purchases and divorce.
To inquire further about community property and divorce look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on community property and divorce. www.brianvictorlaw.com
Father’s Day custody
Father’s Day custody; are two terms that are not usually spoken in the same sentence. As Father’s Day approaches children of divorced and separated parents are getting ready to spend the Father’s Day holiday with their father.
While it seems like a natural occurrence for most children to spend Father’s Day with their father, children dealing with custody arrangements sometimes have to deal with pressure from their mother as well as their father on this holiday.
When parents have co-parenting issues, mothers may get jealous that their child wants to spend time with their father on Father’s Day. They may see this as taking time away from themselves. As a family law and child custody attorney and a licensed marriage family therapist in San Diego, I have seen this on more than one occasion and this is a normal feeling within reason. This becomes a problem when the child’s parent makes the child feel guilty about wanting to spend time with their father, especially on Father’s Day.
While it may sound like this blog is one-sided against mothers, the truth is there are plenty of fathers out there who use Father’s Day as a way to hurt their ex. I have seen many fathers who use Father’s Day as a way to blame their ex-spouse for not allowing their child to spend more time with them except on holidays.
Additionally, I have seen fathers use Father’s Day custody plans as a way of making their child feel guilty for spending more time with their mother than with them. These fathers use their child as a possession to be won and as a way of getting back at their ex rather than seeing Father’s Day as how it should be, which is spending time with each other celebrating a special day.
Parents with co-parenting issues need to understand the harm they can inflict upon their child. There are plenty of co-parenting programs around to help parents learn ways to work with the other parent as not to negatively affect their child.
Father’s Day custody, two terms not often used together, but in the right situation they can lead to a special day between a child and their father.
To inquire further about parenting plans involving high conflict parents look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on child custody and Father’s Day custody plans. www.brianvictorlaw.com
Graduation and parenting plans
Most parents who have gone through the court system either as a result of a divorce or custody modification have a court ordered parenting plan. For those who may not know, a court-ordered parenting plan is a plan that is either stipulated to by both parents or has been decided by a judge and determines when a child or children spend time with each parent.
Parenting plans are useful not only as a court document, but to determine when children see their parents in cases of disagreement. There is a problem with court ordered parenting plans however, they do not always take into consideration every occurrence. One such situation is a child’s graduation.
For instance, if a parenting plan is ordered by the court when a child is young and has not been modified along the way, it is extremely doubtful that the parties or the court contemplated child’s graduation from elementary school, middle school, and or high school.
A child’s graduation from school usually encompasses not only the graduation ceremony itself, but a party in which family and friends can celebrate. Parents who do not get along with each other can make graduation difficult for the children. Plans need to be made in advance and both parents may wish to throw a party for their child. Issues arise as to which parent will be hosting a party, when the party will occur, and who will be invited to the party.
These issues and situations most likely were not contemplated when the initial parenting plan was ordered by the court. What happens when there is no graduation parenting plan is a question I am often asked as a San Diego child custody lawyer. It would seem that graduation and parenting plans should be considered in formulating initial parenting plans.
I advise my clients to focus on the needs of their child when determining how best to deal with graduation ceremonies and parties. It is extremely helpful if both parents can work together to make plans so as not to burden their child with these adult decisions. If the parties have a tumultuous relationship and cannot work together to co-parent their child, then it is useful to bring the matter before the court well in advance of their child’s graduation so decisions can be made and their child does not need to be a part of the decision-making process.
Although graduation is a time for happiness and great achievement by a child, parents who cannot co-parent often make it difficult for their children to enjoy this time. Contemplating parenting plans in advance of a child’s graduation is a good way to avoid any unnecessary co-parenting issues that may affect a child. Learn about graduation and parenting plans.
To inquire further about parenting plans involving high conflict parents look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on child custody plans. www.brianvictorlaw.com
Prom and high conflict parents
It is that time of year when school is almost over, children are excited and can’t wait for summer to begin, and high school juniors and seniors prepare for their prom. Prom for many is the time to have fun with friends. It is a time to enjoy the end of a long school year. Prom also can bring stress for kids and parents when deciding which tux or dress to wear, where to go to dinner, and deciding whether a limo be rented. Now factor in how children of high conflict parents are forced to deal with other stresses outside of the normal ones related to prom.
For instance, as a family law attorney in San Diego, I’ve come across many high conflict parents and situations where parents who only see their children on alternate weekends get upset that the prom has fallen on their weekend. They get upset because they have to drive their child to pick up their tux or dress and then have to take them for pictures and possibly have to drive them to the prom. Instead of what is supposed to be an exciting experience for their children, these high conflict parents yell at their children and blame them that they are losing time with them for the weekend.
In my family law practice in San Diego, when I have clients bring up these situations I inform them of the undue stress this puts on their children. Additionally, when a client tells me the other parent does this, I make sure to mention it in court because that parent needs to understand that part of being a parent for a child means they need to take the responsibilities associated with that.
Parents who are better able to communicate with each other and co-parent create less stress for their child because they can each take on specific responsibilities towards preparing their child for prom.
It is important to note that there are many co-parenting programs around to help high conflict parents. These can be voluntarily attended or can be court mandated.
Prom should be an exciting time for all children and it should not be disrupted by their high conflict parents.
To inquire further about parenting plans involving high conflict parents look for a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on child custody plans. www.brianvictorlaw.com
Spring break custody plans
In my last blog I discussed the pitfalls of planning a spring break vacation when there are high conflict parents involved. I discussed the three types of spring break custody plans I see most often as a divorce and custody lawyer in San Diego.
While these custody plans could include all vacations, I am focusing on spring break specifically for this blog post. These spring break custody plans typically include allowing each parent to vacation with their child for one half of the spring break, the entire spring break, or they allow the parents to decide their own plan.
When I create spring break custody plans for my clients I consider the age of the child, the ability of the parents to communicate with each other, and the parents’ ability to take off work to spend spring break with their child.
After focusing on these considerations I ask my clients what type of spring break custody plan they would prefer for spring break. Once I obtain their preference I begin crafting a concise spring break custody plan that is easy to understand and follow.
I have found the less interruptions in the custody plan the easier it is to follow and the less confusing it will be. I include in most spring break custody plans the precise time the exchanges should occur, the location of the exchanges, and the length of time each parent has with their child during the spring break.
To inquire further about what is involved in creating a custody plan for spring break consult with a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on child custody plans. www.brianvictorlaw.com
Spring break and custody
Spring Break is nearly upon us and that’s a time kids look forward to. For a lot of families it’s also a time for vacation. As a divorce and custody lawyer in San Diego one of the issues I come across often is determining which parent is allowed to take vacation time with their child.
Many times this decision is controlled by a court order for custody. Certain custody orders allow for one parent to have vacation time with their child for the entire break while allowing the other parent vacation time during a different school break.
Sometimes a child custody plan provides for one parent to have vacation time with their child during half of the spring break and the other parent the other half of the break.
Sometimes the child custody plan allows parents to determine on their own what spring break plans they will have. While this works fine for parents who communicate well with each other this does not work well for high conflict parents. These parents need concrete child custody plans so there is little chance of confusion regarding spring break plans.
I will talk more about crafting spring break child custody plans in my next blog.
To inquire further about how to create a child custody plan for spring break consult with a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on child custody plans. www.brianvictorlaw.com
March Madness
I wanted to take time out from my usual blog that focuses on divorce and child custody and discuss a phenomenon that sweeps many work places and schools every March. Of course, I’m talking about March Madness.
You know; March Madness, the chance to pick your brackets for the 68 college basketball teams that are chasing the dream of winning the National College Basketball Championship. This is the time of year when people watch the myriad of basketball games throughout the day and get little work done. That’s March Madness at its finest.
Please understand I am not condoning such behavior especially as a business owner myself. I do understand the obsession with March Madness, however and find it can be good for morale in certain instances. It can also be a good stress reliever for those going through divorce and for children who are put in the middle of their parents’ conflict. Through March Madness they can forget about the real world for a while and enjoy college basketball.
I plan to be part of March Madness and create several of my own brackets in the hopes of picking the correct National Champions of College Basketball. So good luck to all of us who root for teams we have never heard of to upset teams we have heard too much of! That’s March Madness!
Contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on divorce and child custody. www.brianvictorlaw.com
Brian A. Victor Named to 2015 California Super Lawyers List
The Law Offices of Brian A. Victor in San Diego is pleased to announce that Family Law Attorney Brian A. Victor has been selected to the Super Lawyers 2015 California Rising Stars list. This is an exclusive list, recognizing no more than 2.5 percent of the lawyers in the state.
Super Lawyers, a Thomson Reuters business, is a research-driven, peer influenced rating service of outstanding lawyers who have attained a high degree of peer recognition and professional achievement. Attorneys are selected from more than 70 practice areas and all firm sizes, assuring a credible and relevant annual list.
The annual selections are made using a patented multiphase process that
includes:
• Peer nominations
• Independent research by Super Lawyers
• Evaluations from a highly credentialed panel of attorneys
The objective of Super Lawyers is to create a credible, comprehensive and diverse listing of exceptional attorneys to be used as a resource for both attorneys and consumers seeking legal counsel.
The Super Lawyers lists are published nationwide in Super Lawyers Magazines and in leading city and regional magazines and newspapers across the country, as well as in the California Super Lawyers Digital Magazine.
Please join us in congratulating Brian A. Victor on his selection.
Additional information about Brian A. Victor can be found at www.brianvictorlaw.com
For more information about Super Lawyers, go to SuperLawyers.com.
Child custody when unmarried
What happens when parties who are dating decide to break up and they have children from the relationship? This is a question I get asked a lot as a child custody attorney in San Diego.
There are many similarities in this situation as there are when a couple is divorcing and they have children. One of the most important issues to focus on is the physical custody of the children. It is important to decide with which parent the children will be living. Will it be with the mother, the father or a joint custody situation where they spend an equal amount of time with both parents?
Whether divorcing or ending a dating relationship, there are many factors to be considered when determining the custody situation. A longer discussion of each factor would take an article of its own, but suffice to say that the familiarity between the children and each parent and time spent with each parent is a good starting point to determine the physical custody issue.
When a couple is married, they have generally been living together and raising their children. Unless a couple who has been dating has been living together, they have not been in a situation where both parties have been living with their children. This is a major difference between a couple who is divorcing and a couple who is ending a dating relationship. This can also be a major factor to be considered when determining physical custody of the child.
Similar to a divorcing couple, another factor to be considered when determining custody is how much of a role each parent in the dating relationship has been involved in their children’s lives. Although they may not be living with their child, a parent may be involved in taking the child to school, to extra-curricular activities, or spending time with them on a regular basis.
While I have spoken on factors to consider for determining physical custody of a child one of the major differences between divorcing couples and those ending their dating relationship is the type of support that can be requested from the court. Whether a couple is divorcing or ending their dating relationship, a parent can usually request child support from the higher earning parent to help them care for the child’s needs. A big difference, however, is that when divorcing, spousal support can be requested from the party who earns less while an unmarried couple cannot request spousal support. Also, divorcing couples are able to divide assets, while generally an unmarried couple cannot.
To inquire further about the choices available from the court when ending a dating relationship consult with a local family law attorney who can discuss this process as it relates to your specific situation. In San Diego, contact the Law Offices of Brian A. Victor for more information on children and the court process. www.brianvictorlaw.com/san-diego-family-court-services-lawyer/
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