Have you noticed while out maybe at a restaurant or at a ballgame the number of children texting while with their parents? It’s hard to miss sometimes. These children do not hide it or cover up what they are writing. They are proud of the fact that they are texting while they are supposed to be interacting with their parents or watching the event they are present for.
There are many points of view on this behavior and as a child custody lawyer in San Diego I have heard many arguments in favor of this behavior and against it. For the record, I am not taking sides, but rather pointing out some aspects that perhaps you have never considered when thinking about children texting.
First, when I was a mediator with Family Court Services, I heard perspectives by both the custodial parent and the non-custodial parent as to their thoughts about the appropriateness of their children texting while with them. Please bear in mind, this texting did not always occur while the child and parent were out in public, but also occurred while they were home relaxing.
The non-custodial parent would mention during their mediation session, that their child would not pay attention to them when they were attempting to have a conversation with them. Instead, their child would either be texting a friend or the custodial parent. This would anger the parent who only had limited time with their child and inevitably they would blame the custodial parent for this behavior.
The custodial parent would indicate that behavior never occurs in their presence and they would blame the non-custodial parent because if it was not for their lack of interest for their child the child would talk to them rather than text their friends.
The truth most likely falls somewhere in between the two perspectives as I pointed out to the couple during their mediation and as I continue to point out to my family law clients. It is not unusual or unhealthy for children to text while with either parent. Sometimes kids just need some time out from the real world stresses like their parents do now and then. Texting in the middle of a stimulating conversation with one’s parent or at a ball game in the midst of an exciting play is not the greatest timing and may be annoying to parents and others present. While taking some time away from real world stressors may not be the worst thing, try and remember, however, that too much of something can lead to problems.
Overall, it is important that parents talk to each other and discuss concerns they have about their children and work together to try and reach solutions or compromises. Texting or no texting is a decision for a parent to make not the child, and with the consistency of the other parent supporting this decision, it makes it easier for the child to follow the rules at both parents’ homes.
